For this blog in ENG 100 , I will be expressing a counterfactual to my memoir.Reflecting on ways that this experience in my life could have been different based on different choices and circumstances. My blog was contributed to from some of these assigned readings.
On that fair weathered day in March when I was sixteen , I’ve imagined so many times how that may have come out differently. My thoughts of this day has been played back and looked at from so many different perspectives and I ask myself: What if my brother hadn’t pulled that trigger? What would be different? I f he hadn’t let that moment of anger take place. One thing I feel would be different , is that our communication would be better and the distance between us wouldn’t seem so far, I wouldn't feel as though that I don’t know how to feel about his absence. Seeing that day changed alot for me whether my brother would ever understand or not. My life changed even though I didn’t pull the trigger. From that moment of knowing my brother wouldn’t be around like my senior night and graduation and to be there to tell me congratulations and talk to me about life in general played a part. But I can say that I love my brother unconditionally. When I think back on that day I sometimes imagine that if he hadn’t pulled that trigger he would know that he still has his little brother, even though today he feels as though I don’t speak with him enough.I do miss him, I think about him all the time , practically everyday. But the day that happened I became my own role model. I had to figure out how to move forward and not be consumed by negativity. I became more detached from what had happened and from that aspect of my life. I was left to figure things out on my own, but I don't blame my brother, it's just the thought of that day. Maybe if that day hadn’t happened my brother and I would have a business of some sort specializing in community outreach and children's programs.If the events of that day or the choices that were made leading up to that day hadn’t taken place my brother would know more about me and that I’m so focus on being there and having things for him once he’s on solid ground again. I stay diligent and stay grounded and be the best person I can be based on the things I learned not to do from the mistakes I saw him make. If that day was anything different than what took place, my brother would understand that I don't resent him and that to me he’s still “big bro” even though it seems like forever, I love him the same as if he were here everyday, because no matter the events that took place in that day , through it all I found a way to grow. It’s just the events of that day that made our lives change , but change was inevitable. It's the way we accept change is what matters.
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Composing an Emotional Scene with Dialogue and Symbolism
Hello, this my next block of instruction for my English 100 class. In this particular assignment I’ve been asked to create an emotional scene using dialogue and symbolism, with insight from my readings of My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou) and Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway). Please read my blog for the scene. This story takes place when I was about 16 years old. It was a fair weather day outside in March. I was leaving Spring football camp and I was leaving jogging to my grandmother’s house, some days we would carpool after practice but this particular day I decided to jog home. As I was headed to my grandmother’s house I stopped along the way to speak with a friend that was standing outside dribbling the basketball. He yelled out, “Hey what’s up man?” You just left spring camp? I replied, “Yeah, first day “ How are you guys looking? Pretty good! But you know, time will tell once we get chemistry together and learn the new playbook and get people in the right places. He stated, “yeah, sounds about right”! But It's a good thing I saw you , I was kind of thinking about you. I saw your mom’s truck earlier and I thought it was you driving, but I was like, “ I know he’s at spring practice. I also wondered why your mom was at your grandmother’s house this early, because I only see her black truck at night coming to get you when she gets off. I thought nothing of it and replied, “yeah but is my mom at my grandmother’s now?! He stated, “yeah she’s been up there a couple of hours” You sure it was my mom’s truck? He replied, “Bro I know your mom’s truck and that was her that’s why I’m saying is everything ok?! I’m glad I saw you because I was curious to know , because it’s definitely unusual to see you leave from your grandmother’s house that early on a weekday. After we went on talking and discussing camp, I told him I had to go as I was eager to see what was so important that my mother was so early to pick me up, or was she? There were lots of thoughts going in my head but nothing like what I would find out. When I left my friend's house I walked up the street a couple of feet but less than a mile away, once you get to the top of his street my grandmother's street connects and goes up on an incline so you can kind of see up the street. As I kept walking closer and closer to my grandmother’s house I could see my mother’s truck, but I still didn’t know why she was at my grandmother’s house , this wasn’t the norm so something definitely had taken place. Once I got up the hill I began to jog,because now I have to know because I hadn’t heard anything, no one came and got me from practice at this point I’m basically in panic mode. I run up to my grandmother’s door and walk in and there my mother is with tears in her eyes and my grandmother holding her and rubbing her back. Now I’m really scared but I’m not showing it just yet. I'm 16 and I want to be looked at as a man , I’m the youngest of four kids , my dad died when I was two, so my oldest brother was the male figure I knew because my mom never remarried. When I looked again this time I used words. “Mom what’s wrong”? “Is everything ok”? She looked at me and tried to explain ahhhh yes son, but she couldn’t finish. I said grandma what’s wrong with ma? My grandmother who is my dad’s mother is strong as an ox, the foundation of that side of my family , looked at me and said . “ Well son you’re brother made a mistake.” I said which brother? Because I have two , and what mistake? She replied, your oldest brother. What did he do? Is he ok? “What Happened?” Before she could tell me police officers from Leon County Tallahassee, FL were at my grandmother’s door. Asking for permission to search. I asked again, please somebody tell me what’s going on ?! My mother says, “your brother killed someone today, and they want to know if they could search for the murder weapon.” My heart dropped as I was in disbelief. The detectives had driven from Leon County all the way to Bainbridge, GA with my brother in shackles so I did get a chance to see him while they searched for a weapon. My mother hurt so bad and can’t get her thoughts together . I hug her and say mom I love you! Up until this moment I had never seen my mother cry. My brother was brought in and sat down in my grandmother’s dining room. He sat with tears in his eyes and told my mother . “Mom, I turned myself in so they didn’t have to come and find me.” You did a great job with raising four kids on your own, it’s not your fault kids venture out and become who they want to be , so hold your head high! I made a mistake that I have to live with. I took a man’s life because he wronged me but , this is the consequence of my action. My mother looked up and said, “son I love you” and don’t ever feel as though you’ll be going through this alone. I’ll be here and you’ll always have me. This moment in itself made me tear up and made me want to yell, and say ok I’m ready to wake up now, but this was real. My oldest brother looked to me and said, “Bro I love you , you are my little brother and you have the opportunity to be something that you desire to be, as you can see I left my scholarship and then left the Navy, to turn to the streets and this is the consequence that I have to live with.” You are strong and don’t get too emotional because you have to understand that life is full of choices primarily you should strive to make the right ones. I looked and said, “bro I love you too”! You’re everything to me you are the reason I ever even thought about picking up a football, bro it’s so much feeling going through me right now I could explode, but I’ll make my choices based off of things that I’ve seen not to do and strive to make decisions for the better. In that moment I felt the energy in the room surging the air was heavy, but during that time , that was as much emotion that I’ve ever felt . I didn’t come from a broken family both my parents were there and married, my dad died but my mom did a good job on her own. But that didn’t mean that tragedy can’t happen.That particular day helps me to this day it helps me make conscious decisions no matter the case. Hello, In this blog assignment for my English 100 class I will be providing my understanding of the readings and quotes alike from Don Murray, Mary Karr, and Anne Lamott. This task requires me to use quotes from my readings and quotes of my mine, while creating a roundtable discussion of my own.
As I sit and write with my head resting on my hand, I can’t help but notice that an older gentleman is looking and it almost seems as though , I have communicated with him without using words . I walk over and say hello. I will introduce myself. Hey, I’m Travod and he says hello I’m Don , “Don Murray”. At this point I’m looking for distraction almost seem to say ,so I can get ideas on how to begin my assignment. So I engage in a conversation with Mr.Murray expressing that I’m in a fog with starting an assignment and carrying out all of the requirements. He responds with well I can tell you’re in a fog as though you’re looking for the perfect introduction. Mr. Murray proceeds to let me know that”writing is the act of creating a first draft.” Which meant that I should start the creation. Some of the things he shared with me were very intriguing , as he continued to let me know that he too was involved in the arts of writing as he explained that the writer “he is a learning process. His papers are always unfinished , evolving until the end.” This was opening up some head space for me as I continued to listen to what he shares, “there are no rules , no absolutes, just alternatives”, then he says now that we had an ice breaking discussion ,do you mind staying for a while and meeting a couple of my colleagues? They should be coming in any minute now and you will definitely be able to form an opinion as they share information about writing, telling me but only if you’re interested. My response was , sure as I needed to open up and get my thoughts flowing. After a few more minutes of waiting in walks one of Mr. Murray’s colleagues and she introduces herself as “Mary Karr” and I introduce myself as Travod. She proceeds and glances over at Mr. Murray and says” So Don, what’s the connection?” He responds with well I met Mr. Travod right here at Starbucks overthinking his writing project, he was telling me about a fog he was in and I shared some information with him and invited him to stay a while. Mary was interested in knowing more! So she says writers fog you say? What helpful hints did you share Don she added. Don responded with that “writing is the act of creating the first draft”and that it's a process. Mary now adds that well once you get down your draft you can then focus on making adjustments, stating that “revision is the secret to their troubles and yours.” Meanwhile, she continues to explain that “every writer needs two selves- the generative self and the editor self.” Mary says I tell you this because you have to “remind yourself that revising proves your care for the reader and the nature of your ambition.” Expressing that if you’re feeling a bit discouraged hang here for a minute longer my close friend and colleague Anne, “Anne Lomart” should be arriving soon. Minutes go by and we’re still talking about the process , and at this point I’m feeling better but I’m also interested in meeting Anne ,thinking that what she has to share can even better assist me in getting out of this field of doubt. As Don and Mary catch up on old times , I’m kind of looking around just pondering, and in walks who I suspect to be Anne due to Mary’s reaction when she saw the woman breeze in. Don, Mary and Anne hugged and smiled briefly, and Anne looks over and says. Well who do we have here? Mary proceeds to say, Don and I have been chatting with a gentleman about the writing process and getting out of the fog he’s in.Don has opened him up with speaking about the teachings of writings and me after he’s done drafting keep revising. But I did tell him that you would be able to shed a bit more light on his situation and give some quality advice. Anne responds with , now that I can do it , I’m all too familiar with his situation. Anne proceeds to tell me about a story when her brother had an issue with a project and their fathers response stood out to her it was “take it bird by bird”, meaning go through the process. I found this information extremely valuable and let Anne know how I felt about the information she’d shared and she says “ you need to start somewhere, start by getting something- anything-down on paper.” Anne’s words were very helpful as she kept explaining I noticed that she actually summed up what Don and Mary were explaining all along. What stood out was when she said “the first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.” Before having this conversation with these prestigious individuals, I felt like” writing was too difficult, because it has to initially sound perfect”. That thought is no longer a thought for me. I was thankful that I had a chance to be at the roundtable and gain such great insight. After expressing my gratitude for the great advice, I got up with a smile, gathered my things , went home and began to let it flow. |
Donovan FountainI will use this blog to make meaning and explore the messy processes of writing. Archives
May 2020
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