For this blog in ENG 100 , I will be expressing a counterfactual to my memoir.Reflecting on ways that this experience in my life could have been different based on different choices and circumstances. My blog was contributed to from some of these assigned readings.
On that fair weathered day in March when I was sixteen , I’ve imagined so many times how that may have come out differently. My thoughts of this day has been played back and looked at from so many different perspectives and I ask myself: What if my brother hadn’t pulled that trigger? What would be different? I f he hadn’t let that moment of anger take place. One thing I feel would be different , is that our communication would be better and the distance between us wouldn’t seem so far, I wouldn't feel as though that I don’t know how to feel about his absence. Seeing that day changed alot for me whether my brother would ever understand or not. My life changed even though I didn’t pull the trigger. From that moment of knowing my brother wouldn’t be around like my senior night and graduation and to be there to tell me congratulations and talk to me about life in general played a part. But I can say that I love my brother unconditionally. When I think back on that day I sometimes imagine that if he hadn’t pulled that trigger he would know that he still has his little brother, even though today he feels as though I don’t speak with him enough.I do miss him, I think about him all the time , practically everyday. But the day that happened I became my own role model. I had to figure out how to move forward and not be consumed by negativity. I became more detached from what had happened and from that aspect of my life. I was left to figure things out on my own, but I don't blame my brother, it's just the thought of that day. Maybe if that day hadn’t happened my brother and I would have a business of some sort specializing in community outreach and children's programs.If the events of that day or the choices that were made leading up to that day hadn’t taken place my brother would know more about me and that I’m so focus on being there and having things for him once he’s on solid ground again. I stay diligent and stay grounded and be the best person I can be based on the things I learned not to do from the mistakes I saw him make. If that day was anything different than what took place, my brother would understand that I don't resent him and that to me he’s still “big bro” even though it seems like forever, I love him the same as if he were here everyday, because no matter the events that took place in that day , through it all I found a way to grow. It’s just the events of that day that made our lives change , but change was inevitable. It's the way we accept change is what matters.
4 Comments
Sabatino
3/2/2020 10:09:32 am
CIF. As I read your post I kept asking myself: how did Donovan feel when he wrote this counterfactual? I see so much insight and power in this piece -- for your own personal growth, right ... as well as for material to include in your memoir. I look forward to talking to you about this post and your memoir.
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meghan
3/2/2020 11:12:27 am
I couldn't agree more! I wonder how you felt while writing this. Your brother knew you loved him no matter what. We all learn from powerful past experiences I really felt your pain while reading this. Thanks for sharing!!
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Ashley
3/3/2020 11:22:18 am
I really enjoyed reading your blog post, there was a lot of depth and feeling to it. I liked how you compared it to your life and added some Intel as to how your life was affected by the decisions made. Your "What if" questions told a story. Just remember no matter how much distance, you are still brothers. Im sure he thinks about you and misses you just as much. Thank you for sharing!
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Tanesha
3/3/2020 02:10:32 pm
I could tell that this was something that's been on your mind. It really tugs on your heart strings. Thanks for sharing this!
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Donovan FountainI will use this blog to make meaning and explore the messy processes of writing. Archives
May 2020
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